


Wade and Peter Make a Porno

by merycula (thanksillpass)



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 20:58:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/715021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksillpass/pseuds/merycula
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: Making a sex tape, ending in fail sex</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wade and Peter Make a Porno

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [Wade and Peter Make a Porno （Wade想和Peter拍小黄片！）](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4688927) by [bukeaijun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bukeaijun/pseuds/bukeaijun)



> Well, the problem is, I don’t do smut. I just don’t. So I decided to write it from the boxes POV.

**So, sex tape.**

_Yup, sex tape._

**And this is a good idea because…**

_In theory, taping yourselves in the act can bring you closer together as a couple._

**Yeah, and in practice, we ruin everything. Somehow.**

_Don’t be so harsh, we took a shower and everything._

**Wow, that certainly makes this plan fail-proof. I bet we’re gonna come in ten seconds flat. Or snap his neck accidentally. I don’t know which is worse.**

_Shush, we need to concentrate._

**Fine, fine.**

…

…

_Well, this is going well so far._

**I guess…**

_Although this angle isn’t very flattering for us._

**No angle is flattering for us. We look like a genetic experiment gone wrong.**

_We are a genetic experiment gone wrong._

**Touche.**

…

**Peter is nervous.**

_We are nervous too._

**Why are we nervous? It was our idea.**

_I don’t know. But we’re shaking. Not cool._

**Gotta get a grip. Ha. Get it? Grip.**

_Shut up._

**Spoilsports.**

…

…

_Oh no._

**Ugh, gross. I can’t watch this.**

_We have no choice._

**Oh shit, we’re gonna slip and-**

_Yup. We slipped. On the lube. And we elbowed Spider-Man. In the eye. And we have it on tape._

**Think it’s gonna leave a bruise?**

_Not for long, but still. Poor Peter…_

**Poor us! He’s gonna dump our sorry ass!**

_He can’t, we have him on tape. Naked. Spread out. In cuffs. Panting. Covered in sickening amount of lube. Which we spilled. Should I go on?_

**Please don’t. I said it was a bad idea.**

_When did we ever have a good idea?_

**Well there was that one time- Uh, no. It turned out to be a horrible idea.**

…

…

_Uh-oh… This doesn’t look promising…_

**We’re getting dumped. We are so getting dumped.**

_At this point we should worry more about getting our dick ripped off._

**Are you saying we’re stuck.**

…

**Oh my god, we’re stuck. We’re stuck and we’re gonna lose our dick and we’re getting dumped. This can’t get any worse.**

_Don’t say that! Worse things happen when you say worse things can’t happen! That’s what worse things do!_

**I’m sorry! I just can’t imagine anything worse than getting stuck in somebody’s ass with our limbs bent at impossible angles happening! How is this even possible with all this lube!**

_Oh god, this isn’t good… Can’t Peter just break the cuffs and save us? He’s the fucking super-hero in this relationship!_

**Hehe, and we’re fucking the super-hero…**

_Really? Now? Now is a good time for lame jokes?_

**I PANICKED, OKAY?!**

_Are we…_

**Yes! We are no longer stuck! Abort mission! Abort mission!**

“SHUT THE HELL UP!!!”

…

…

“Would you consider trying again if I told you I couldn’t concentrate because of the voices in my head?”

…

…

“No.”

“Understandable.”


End file.
